Standards of Measurement

Can’t I do what I want with my own money?  Or do you resent my generosity toward others?  Matthew 20:15

Frankly, no, You can’t and yes, I do.  Every time I think about how the times I have been denied and cheated in my life, and go into detail, this is my answer.  My demands lead to resentment because they all seem to have gotten away with it in this life.  Each time (they are less frequent as time passes, but still, every once in a while…)  Please God, empty me of my demands, my sense of entitlement. My resentment.  God’s reply?  “Whoever wants to become prominent among you shall be your servant, and whoever desires to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”  Matthew 20: 26b-28).

God answered me quickly in verse 28.  You didn’t put me on this earth to be served by You.  You put me on this earth so that I could serve You and others.  You don’t owe me anything for I don’t even come close to Your standards.  Yet You have granted me eternal life and therefore, I owe You everything. 

The Amplified puts it: “Am I not permitted to do what I choose with what is mine?  [Or do you begrudge my being generous?] Is your eye evil because I am good?”  Each and every person on earth was created and designed by You.  Therefore, each and every person on earth belongs to You and You can do what You choose with each person’s life.  My problem is that I started life on the poor end and am back there now, but in the middle, I knew some financial prosperity and I have always been one to compare.  The friends who got to marry wealthy husbands, or the ones who get promotions, salary increases and bonuses I always compare as “better”.  But how about “worse”?  The friend who lives paycheck to paycheck, can’t afford a house, has tons of debt and goes to the food pantry.

You have designed each person’s life with what is best for them.  You have designed my life with what is best for me.  For me, harder is better.  Restoration isn’t always measured by quantity and comparison.  Restoration is also measured by the qualitative – depth of relationship, spiritual, intellectual and emotional growth and change.  Please change my standards of measurement.